Basically, i'm depressed. Not severe, but just depressed. No motivation, No inspiration. If I want inspiration i can just go to Pearlridge, across from Borders and check out furniture. But no. Lots of things are contributing to it. But a major one is, my dad. You know, there have been three weeks that have gone by, before in the past without me hearing from him. But now i'm into the fifth week, and it's starting to set it in already. I mean, i don't need to burden anybody with this stuff. My dad never wanted people to feel down with him, he wanted them to stay always happy. Even if he's not having a good day. So, i guess i'm the same way.
Oh and the dialing 9-4-4 instead of 9-1-1, actually happened. According to his phone.
I just got through watching some old home movies of me 21 years ago and him on the VCR. Curse my small hands back then. If i had only knew how to properly hold and/or operate a video camera the size of two Insight Books and a Large Reference, then I'd be seeing more of him.
You know if you had met him for the first time, you would've left feeling you knew him for years.
I remember i was 11 and he would let me drive the car two blocks away from the house.
The man owned McDonald's! crazy! but whats more crazy is he would let his kid work the grill, work drive thru. Yeah, he was crazy, but he was awesome. I can't match up to that much awesomeness.
Those are big snowflakes
This man just held in all his hurt and pain over the years, I wonder if he cried as part of his
to-do list. But anyways, he was awesome. Took me 24 years to see that, but he was good man. It'll take 24 more years to even match up to him.
But there's a lot more I say about this. But again, the bottom line is I miss him. Cleaning out his place, it's a bit surreal. If that's even a good word to describe it. But this is a cause of my "depression". Other personal things are contributing to it too. But they're not as important as this one. I wish all the depression would go away. It won't, not now. I get jealous cause It seems others are problem free. I know they have their owns, but still. There's gotta be something wrong with me. Fo' rell. But i am grateful though for just the support i get. Now i'm looking for situations where I can return the favors too. Fo' rell
But no one said it'll be easy to endure it. So, i'll be having my occasional moments. Sorry again. I need a vacation from all this. Just away from home, Hawaii, things. Too much stuff to juggle all at once. But until I can see him again, I will probably have these occasional moments.
But yeah, I hope this had cleared some things. Any questions come and see me after the meeting and we'll mark your book for you.
2 comments:
Oh, you'll really like Forever, it'll be awesome.
man those pics of your dad are really beautiful, cause that snowflake is the size of his brain and he's not even scared.
(lol jklol)
and the shadows of the second picture are nice, it just looks so candid.
but i mostly wanted to discuss the mcdonalds thing, cause i think i remembered that he owned one and had a bunch of witness kids running the place. i had no idea that you manned the grill. im seriously picturing these cool movie-type scene in my head, like a summer at mcdonalds doing cool stuff like wearing rollerskates in the back or like burning patties and mixing up orders and all of these hilarious situations.
and all of this is set in another cool time with really cool comedic timing.
well anyway, take your vacation.
and come back when you feel right,
cause we're all still here, ready to get retarded.
:D
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